Dog log - the final chapter
We came home from our Shabbat lunch (Yes, we took our gas masks - I've decided to call them gasks for short) to find Sancho had finished off the remnants of that vanilla cake that had been sitting in the kitchen waiting (patiently) for someone so very much in need of something sweet as to not notice it was revolting. Of course, the crumbs were embedded (such a useful word) in the carpet and the cardboard cake box was in shreds all over the living room. But at least Sancho was happy at last. The girls got to take him out for a last walk ("I'm holding the leash!" "No, I'm holding the leash!" "But you held it last time!"...), before regrettably taking their leave of Sancho and going off to play with friends (Who am I kidding? They hardly said goodbye to him, or to us for that matter, in their hurry to be gone).

Sancho was delighted to see his folks, when they came for him. And there ends our dog story. Not to be continued.

posted by Imshin 18:15

The truth dawns on yet more human shields:

We just sat, listening, our mouths open wide. Jake, one of the others, just kept saying, "Oh my God" as the driver described the horrors of the regime. Jake was so shocked at how naive he had been. We all were. It hadn't occurred to anyone that the Iraqis might actually be pro-war.

No wonder these "anti-war" characters also believe every preposterous lie the Palestinians tell them. They're just plain ignorant.

posted by Imshin 17:58

Mercenaries!
Gil and Harry went public. Not me, mine is a proud independent cottage industry to the very end. No shareholders will tell me what to do! You won't catch me opening the door to any hostile takeovers!

posted by Imshin 11:47

Arrogant fools
These two idiot Israeli journalists are frothing at the mouth with indignation at their alleged mistreatment by American troops in Iraq, even though they had no official authorization to be there. What on earth did they expect? Garlands? Kisses? This is a battlefield, for goodness sake!

We get just as annoyed with the foreign journalists in our battlefields, although I must admit, we seem to give foreign journalists far more freedom in the field than the Americans (or the Iraqis, of course) are doing, for all their complaining about us.

I'm glad this happened because it means that if real spies or terrorists come along, posing as journalists, they will be sussed out.

posted by Imshin 11:25

The Bamba issue
Okay, now listen! I've thought about it and I have just one thing to say. Bamba is a national asset, see? My girls might not be crazy about it but that doesn't mean I'll sit back and see it knocked all over the Blogosphere. So just you and you, watch it! Our leaders made a great patriotic decision in pronouncing it a vital product and that it's production continue undisturbed in times of emergency, and thus proved that they really do care about little people after all. Think of all the relieved parents and children all over the country who were losing sleep worrying what they would do if their supply dried up. So there'll be no more badmouthing Bamba if you don't mind.

I'm glad we've cleared that up.

Update: Laurence is my Bamba brother.
Second update: Go check out Allison's hilarious take on Bamba. It seems I've made her bad books, though. I can't say I didn't earn it.

posted by Imshin 08:47

Some of you may be asking what happened to my decision not to post on Shabbat. Well, last weekend I had so many visitors to Not a Fish it felt downright inhospitable not to entertain them all. This week it's not as hectic as last week but still far more than usual.

Dog log
Miki took offense that I spelt out her name but not the dog's. She's right of course, the dog is Sancho, but you won't beat his folks' names out of me, even with threats of Saddam's shredding machine. Well, maybe.

It's quite nice having a four-legged friend here. His mood improved somewhat once he realized we weren't cruel and wicked and we knew to give him food and water and take him for walkies. Walkies is quite nice, meditative, but we're already making deals ("If you take him now, I'll take him in the morning") so I can see one of our own would not be such a good idea. Youngest is hesitantly stroking him, he can sense her insecurity and keeps clear of her. That's maybe the best reason for having one of our own. Eldest, who was most excited about having him here and who is forever asking for a dog or a cat, ignores him completely.

I've discussed Shabbat lunch with Our Sis, and she agrees it would be best not to bring Sancho. Not because he would fight with little old T. .. er.. Tiggy, but because he might ruin Our Sis' pride and joy, her beautiful award-winning garden (It hasn't actually won any awards yet, but it should).

posted by Imshin 08:40

Shabbat Shalom.

Our neighbors spent their Friday urging Saddam to send us some missiles already. How disappointing this war is turning out for them. I read Israeli lefties managed to muster up forty anti-war protesters, no less, in Tel Aviv.
posted by Imshin 18:21

Ynet update: Haifa firefighters have been battling for the last hour to rescue a goat that fell down a well in a Haifa neighborhood.
posted by Imshin 15:54

Esquire II
I can always count on readers to offer explanations. James Begent informs me that "an esquire is an old term for the rank below a knight. In modern use it's more of a term of respect, since the meaning doesn't apply any more. People like the bank will use it to be obsequious."

There you go.

Mr. Begent, esq. also says on his bloggy sort of site: "I believe there is no meaning or purpose in anything. All effort is futile. All desire is empty. Buddha was nearly right but when you die you rot in the ground. God is Santa Claus for adults. Humans are monkeys. Life was an accident. I like burning things, especially hackers. I like complexity and abstraction as they distract me from the futility of human existence".

Hmmm. Cheerful. I tend to agree (except about burning hackers, but this is probably some computer jargon witticism that I am not acquainted with).

Update: More input from yet another reader - "We lawyers in the U.S. often have Esq. after our names." Aha!

posted by Imshin 14:52

Dog log
S. has arrived with his bowl, toy cat, little ball and a very long face, which is getting longer all the time. Poor thing, he thinks he's been abandoned. Miki has asked for more details about him. Well he's a mongrel, part Alsatian, I think, about two years old.

posted by Imshin 14:39

This is not England, you nitwits! What did you expect? That they stand tidily in line and wait for their turn? This is not proof that they are hungry, this is proof that they are Middle Easterners. If you're giving out something for free, of course the whole town will turn up, of course there will be a scramble! If you don't organize queues and be tough in regulating them, there won't be any.

And don't forget this is the cradle of commerce - You'll be seeing those cartons of goodies offered for sale in the market tomorrow, more likely than not!
posted by Imshin 13:50

We're having a real dog to stay for the weekend. No, I'm not being rude about my guest, it really is a dog. The girls are very excited. Don't worry, Our sis, I won't bring him for Shabbat lunch, he's about twice T.'s size but she is still likely to devour him, with all her age. He's a bit of a simpleton.
posted by Imshin 09:03

Yes, go ahead, why don't you, and boycott Israeli research and products.
posted by Imshin 08:54

Friends in high-ish places
Harry fixed it with his magic wand. It's now Imshin. Yippee. Thank ye kindly.

posted by Imshin 08:50

The war rushes past and we are left, thankfully, standing at the edge watching.

Gil points out that Israel didn't start deporting Palestinians as some anti-Israeli activists claimed we would (duh). These claims were preposterous, of course, and exhibited unbelievable ignorance of what is happening here (again duh). Gil also points out that you won't find any of these prophets of doom owning up that they were wrong (triple duh), but then they're too busy shouting stupid senseless slogans elsewhere, aren’t they? They'll be back, when other channels of expressing their foolishness and ignorance dry up. Actually they already are back, lying about by Bank Leumi in NYC, staging a... a... Die-In??! (Talk about time warps). Yeah, I can't stand Bank Leumi either, that so-called pillar of Israeli economy, (I'll tell you how they tried to put one over me and my Bat-Mitzva savings when I was eighteen another time) but I've got better things to do (sleep comes to mind, but maybe I'll put that on hold and go practice my considerable shooting skills so I'll be ready when the time is ripe for world domination hahahahahaha). Funny thing is, I saw this Die-In thing on TV and because I wasn't really listening (my mind kind of switches off when they start talking about so-called peace demonstrations - bo-o-oring), assumed it was against the war with Iraq. I didn't even notice it was about the rights of people to throw themselves in front of bulldozers in the south of the Gaza strip. It just shows - timing is everything. You have to know when to demonstrate about what, if you want to get across.

posted by Imshin 08:23

More fun
Saddam playing games.

From Bish.

posted by Imshin 21:12

The Palestinians got fed up of waiting for Saddam's Scud missiles.
posted by Imshin 19:31

Take that, you France you. And let that be a lesson to you.

Lovingly sent by Our Sis.

posted by Imshin 19:27

The lowest of the low
A Palestinian youth was sent by Yasser Arafat’s Fatah to Jerusalem two months ago to perpetrate a suicide bombing. He changed his mind and was apprehended by Israeli forces after having dumped the explosives. Recently he confessed to his interrogators that the target had been a boarding school, a home for children that have been removed from severely abusive families. We have a few such homes in the Tel Aviv area too, actually quite near us. A boy that lives in one of them studies in Eldest’s class at school (the kids live in the homes but attend regular schools) and my sister-in-law works in another. The youth, a seventeen year-old from the village of Al Hader, “said he had decided not to go ahead with the attack after he realized that many children would be hurt.”

Thank you, Tal, for the link to the boarding school.

posted by Imshin 18:02

Back when my dad was an English esquire (I’ve no idea what that is, but he used to get letters addressed to him with esq. on the end of his name. Being an inquisitive child I had to know what it was, but no one really gave me an answer that quite satisfied me) he was regularly bashed on the head by nasty people* and robbed (we lived in the North). Each time this happened, he got a nice article in the local paper, but not once did they spell his name right!
__________________________________
*People less fortunate than us who wished to even things up a bit and in the process give my dad the benefit of a few days rest in hospital and more stitches in his head (and you still wonder why he brought his family to live in this wilderness?).

To whom it may concern: I am Imshin IMSHIN as in I.M.S.H.I.N., not Ishmin nor àéùîéï. Thank you, Harry.
posted by Imshin 17:10

The teachers have started their sanctions. School started at nine o'clock today, instead of eight o'clock. The new government economic plan calls for the dismissal of 6000 teachers. I don't know if they plan to give early retirement to some of the older, burnt-out teachers, or sack the younger ones, but I can think of one or two teachers in my girls' school that I would not be heartbroken if I didn’t see teaching next year.

I find it very difficult to feel empathy for the teachers' plight. They may not make very much money, but they don't work very much either (they boast a twenty four hour week, nearly half the national amount, and they work eight months a year, and that's on a year they don't go on too many strikes, and don't tell me they have all those exams to mark after school hours, I won't be impressed). Some teachers make a small fortune supplementing their salaries with unreported private tutoring. Besides pocketing (stealing?) what they should be paying as income tax for this, as I see it, this practice gives them incentive to be bad teachers in school in the morning (no fear of being sacked, they have job permanence). If little Adi can't understand what Shula the math teacher is talking about, her parents will be forced to fork out for private tuition (and it's very expensive). What a coincidence, Shula just happens to know of a very good teacher who could be of assistance... and what do you know, the very good teacher also has some students who need help. Maybe Shula would be so kind... A very profitable arrangement. I think it's not as straight forward as that, these days (have teachers of late grown some shame or is it the Education Ministry making a feeble attempt at curbing the phenomenon?), but that's how it worked in my day. And I suppose the logic hasn't really changed. Of course, many parents can't afford this blood letting, so this creates a situation whereby only the relatively reasonably-salaried can afford a decent education for their offspring (so much for free and equal schooling for all). So, no, I don't have much empathy for teachers, although we've been very lucky with the girls' class teachers in recent years (Why should I feel lucky? Don't our children deserve good teachers? Must it be a matter of potluck?).

The teachers’ sanctions will probably soon mature into a full-blown strike. This is a real torment for parents who aren't as fortunate as the teachers with their unparalleled work conditions and actually have to put in a full day's work all year round (give or take a bit for what's known as "Shabbatot ve hagim" - Saturdays and religious holidays). Let's hope the teachers manage to muster up some uncharacteristic restraint and wait till the end of the war in Iraq before they commence with their fun and games.

*I would like to point out that most teachers I know personally are lovely people, dedicated to their vocation. I am very happy with my girls’ school on the whole, and haven’t really got much of an axe to grind. But being a full-time working mother, The Teachers, as a powerful political group, continue to p$#s me off no end.

posted by Imshin 16:58

Sixty nine today
Last year Seder Night fell on the twenty seventh of March, the day after your birthday. So Seder Night was your birthday celebration too. You had been diagnosed just three weeks before and, without talking about it, we were all determined that this would be the best Seder Night ever. And it was.

We sang and were happy like there was no tomorrow. No, we sang and were happy because there was no tomorrow. And you sat there so fragile and delicate, like a rare flower of great beauty to be protected and adored.

Then you started to get tired. You and Dad were already preparing to go home, when Bish had a look on the Internet and told us the news about the terrible terrorist attack in the Park Hotel, the one that came to be known as the Passover Massacre, just down the road from your apartment.

This year, I won’t be ringing you up in the morning to sing “Happy Birthday” on the phone. I’ll never be ringing you up to sing “Happy Birthday” again. But I’ll be singing to you in my heart all day long, because you are always with me.

Happy Birthday Mum. I love you.

posted by Imshin 08:54

I've been regretting the post quoting Guy Bechor ever since I wrote it. I should have gone with my gutt feeling that I didn't really know what I was talking about, and kept my reflections to myself in that case, but what's done is done. I quoted Dr. Bechor as saying that Iraqi Shiites are undereducated. I do remember him saying that but I may have misunderstood his meaning. A reader wishes to point out that "Shiites are the intellectuals (and artists,) in Iraq and they are not undereducated but Sunnis are the ruling class". My apologies.

This reminds of the Jewish community of Iraq, which is now non-existent. The whole community, more or less, moved to Israel as one, once it became evident that staying in Iraq would be too dangerous. In many cases this meant leaving behind much wealth, for a life of years of squalor and degradation in tents in transition camps in the fledgling Israel. They were also intellectuals and artists (I think mainly musicians) but more or less devoid of political power. Many have done very well in Israel and they are prominent in Israeli politics, academia and art, not to mention in business and in the communications media.

I wrote something of my feelings on this, here. And here are more old posts of mine and Diane's, with links, on the subject.
posted by Imshin 06:41

I'm watching US soldiers frisking men who are surrendering to them, on Fox News. Maybe they should ask them to pull up their shirts first. It's only a matter of time before someone "surrenders" wearing an explosive belt.
posted by Imshin 18:26

Other:
A. The weather: Very cold and very wet. I really don't want to go to my class this evening, but I have no choice. The course, when I finish it, will add slightly to my salary, which the government is probably voting to cut as we speak.
B. "Tzabar Salads" have come out with a product they call "Lebanese Green Tehina". It's yummy.

Update to A.: My class is in a tough South Tel Aviv neighborhood. My co-students are mainly blue collar. I was surprised and pleased to see that nearly half had gas masks with them. It seems proles (real ones) have more sense after all.
posted by Imshin 17:51

I’s a good girl, I is
When my betters tell me to take my gas mask with me, even if they themselves do not (“Do as I say, not as I do”?), I do it, especially if it seems to me to be quite a sensible thing to do. And when Diane tells me to read Lilek's Bleat, I do that too.

(This doesn’t mean I’ll put my hand in the fire if I am thus instructed. We heat by air conditioning.)

posted by Imshin 17:25

I wanted to tell you yesterday about the evacuation of Hill 26 near Hebron, but for some reason I couldn’t find a decent link and then I forgot about it. Well, now I’ve found a decent-ish link (I’ve been making an effort to steer clear of Haaretz’s heavily politicized news pages, but sometimes there just isn’t any other option in English). So here it is: They evacuated Hill 26.
posted by Imshin 17:24

Having reportedly spent an unprecedented fortune on hotel rooms, equipment, roof space and whatever else is necessary for gleefully updating the world when the Iraqis give us our due/show us what's for/beat the s#$t out of us (or whatever), most members of the foreign press have now left Israel, according to Israeli TV. Good riddance, vultures.
posted by Imshin 06:22

By the time the chemical missiles get here, and my feeling that the Iraqis will put in the greatest effort to make sure that happens, when the time is ripe, is increasing, I fear the only ones still schlepping our gas masks around will be Bish and me and Allison and my mother-in-law. How about you, Our Sis? At least most of the kids are still taking them to school.
posted by Imshin 06:00

"You don't see happy PoW's. What did you expect?"
Said Major General (reserves) Gidon Shefer on Reshet Bet radio station this morning. He's been there so he knows. A pilot, he was taken prisoner by the Egyptians just after the end of the Yom Kippur War during a reconnaissance mission. He pointed out that it looks awful for us at home, but actually, for the PoW him or herself, being seen on TV is a good thing, a much-desired goal. It is a relief for them that their capture is made public and they know that their situation is far better than that of others whose whereabouts are not known. Also, this is some sort of insurance for their physical and mental state. The Iraqis can be held responsible for any deterioration from now on.

I really liked listening to him. All morning they were interviewing all these prophets of doom, and he came on, optimistic, resilient, living proof that there can be a life, even a successful military career, after the horrors of being a prisoner of war in an Arab country.

The pilots who were taken as prisoners of war in Egypt in 1973 are remembered warmly in Israel even today because of their group translation in captivity of Tolkiens "The Hobbit". I don't know if Major General Shefer was involved in that project, although I think I have their translation lying around somewhere. There’s a newer translation now, which we've also got, but you can still buy their version.

The Frog reminds us to put the losses of this war, awful as they may be, into perspective.

posted by Imshin 17:59

Teachers’ main aim in life is to aggravate parents
They are teaching Youngest's class about diet. Healthy diet. You know what that means, don't you? A healthy mid-morning snack contest, of course, what else? But I always make you healthy sandwiches. No, now you have to make me really healthy food. Sigh. I'm not in love with Youngest's teacher at 6am, while I am busy cutting up really healthy vegetables. I wonder if she ate them now it's a contest or did she bring them back in her schoolbag, like she usually does. I asked her. She ate them.
posted by Imshin 17:55

One partial possible (not very brilliant) explanation why they are putting up such a fight if they hate Saddam (although we shouldn't have been surprised because Salam warned us this would be the case).
Israeli orientalist Dr. Guy Bechor spoke on Israeli radio station Reshet Bet yesterday morning. As usual he mentioned his pessimism with regard to the possibility of Iraqi democracy. Sunni Muslims are a minority in Iraq, he reminded us, while Shiites are the majority. However, Sunnis are the ruling elite while Shiites are an undereducated lower class. Democracy poses a real threat to Sunnis, because as far as it means rule of the majority, that could mean Shiite rule over the Sunnis.

Dr. Bechor was talking about democracy, but in the context of the last few days, this could explain the fight the Iraqi army is putting up. They may hate Saddam Hussein, but they may be more afraid of the idea of Shiite rule, which could turn out even worse for them. That is, if the Sunnis are more dominant in the army, of course. But maybe I should stop babbling on about things I don't really understand.

Ofra Banjo, an Israeli expert on Iraq, told channel 1 viewers that it's because Iraqis are fighting for their home and Ehud Yaari pointed out on channel 2 that people are still mainly afraid of Saddam and that's why we're not seeing people happy to be "liberated".

And then of course there is their honor. Dr. Bechor reminded us that Iraq is seen in the Arab world, and sees itself, as the most civilized of people. Can you imagine how very degrading it must be for them to be perceived as having been liberated by despised uncivilized Americans?

Honor is another reason I think that a chemical missile attack on Israel is still very possible.

I wonder how the coming sand storm will affect the coalition forces ability to see what’s happening on the ground in Western Iraq. At least we’ve got rain.

I suppose you’ve noticed Salam put up a new post.

posted by Imshin 17:51

Sunday evening tension
Still nothing from Salam.

The idea of coalition PoW's in the hands of the Iraqis is making me feel sick. All I can think of is the Ramallah Lynching.

Bish saw the female soldier on Sky News. He said she looked scared. I'm glad I didn't see it. Without thinking I asked him if she had long hair. I'm not over this yet. Maybe I never will be.

I'm suddenly realizing (with a mixture of shock and depression) that we're not out of the picture yet. All this Iraqi resistance gives me the feeling that maybe we shouldn't be in any hurry to rule out the idea, widely speculated on in recent months, that Saddam could still make an effort to lash out at us with the worst when he's got nothing left to lose. The feeling of relief that nothing has happened yet, which has been replaced with complacence, could be premature.

I took youngest to her dancing class this afternoon. My friend I. who usually takes Youngest and her daughter, while I bring them back, cancelled. I wondered if I should maybe not take Youngest either, for once, but she was adamant about going. They were starting a new dance routine today, following last week's performance in the Purim party. Watching the six and seven year olds filing into the studio with their gas mask boxes, like it was the most natural thing, I felt very sad.

Youngest told me that N., Eldest's little friend from first grade, found an atropine shot on the floor today at school. All the students up to the age of eight, who had the same type of atropine shot as that found, had to take out their gas masks and check if theirs was missing.

When we got home from the dancing class I had to go to the supermarket for bread and tomatoes. I gave the girls the usual briefing about what to do if there is a missile attack while I'm gone. The supermarket is next door. Once downstairs I discovered it was dark out. Then I discovered I'd forgotten my cell phone.

Bish did the shopping when he got home.

As you can see, I'm feeling rather jittery this evening.

And this morning terrorists opened fire on a car at the entrance of the Israeli village of Katzir, which is inside pre-1967 Israel. One of the two terrorists was apprehended.

Update: Shared my hysterical feelings with Bish and got a big hug. Now I'm feeling much better.

posted by Imshin 19:02

I wonder what they'll find in this chemical plant.
posted by Imshin 19:02

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