Things are different every time you encounter them. It's like not being able to cross the same river twice. The river has changed, and so have you.

The first time I read Rudyard Kipling's "If" was when my scout leader gave it to us to read. I must have been fourteen. It was the first time we had met him. He took us for a long hike down a deep wadi (a narrow valley between two mountains). When we were completely exhausted, he sat us down and gave us each a copy to read. Then we had to make our way back up again.

Our scout leader was only three years older than us, but even at such a young age, he managed to affect us all deeply. He was one of those rare animals: the natural educator.

A few years later, during his army service, his jeep drove over a mine in the Jordan valley. For years I have mourned the loss of a great man, that didn’t get to fulfill his life’s goal, that didn’t get to make a difference. But he did make a difference. He made a difference to me.

Today, when I read Kipling’s “If”, I am not the same person. And it is not the same poem that I am reading as the one I read that first time, sitting on a rock in a Wadi on the eastern slope of Mount Carmel, on an autumn afternoon just before sunset. I was impressed by it back then, but I didn't really understand it. I think this was as it should have been, seeing I was only fourteen. Life was just beginning. We tend to idolize the freshness of youth, thus underrating the wisdom and beauty of experience.

But still, even after all these years, whenever I come across it, I think of my gentle, sensitive, seventeen year old scout leader, Meidad.

[A thought: To those who dislike Kipling's work because of his racist, sexist and whatever other tendencies, I say - don't be silly! The man lived in a different age. So "If" is written to a man in a world in which only men mattered; so Kipling didn't like Jews (and today we are so very popular...). Kipling was part of his world, not ours. Does this render this poem any less sagacious? I think not. I think it possesses a timeless wisdom that is beyond who Kipling the man may have been, and if we choose to reject it because of our prejudices, than we are the poorer.]

Update: John Williams writes to me that Rudyard Kipling's only son was killed in WWI.


posted by Imshin 10:02

What are we doing?
Another weblog award thing has come to my attention, one that openly calls itself left wing (more about what this means, exactly, by The Head Heeb). As a foreigner to American politics and mindsets, I understand that Wizbang would be described as right wing. His award thing was described as a right wing one too, by a commenter yesterday. This all just shows, once again, the futility of trying to choose a best of anything. There is no “best”. It’s just a matter of point of view, personal taste, what side of the bed we got up on this morning.

So I take a look at the nominations for the Koufax Awards. I have read very few of the blogs suggested. So many of the names of the blogs are negative. I wonder if the people who write them, or enjoy reading them, are aware of this. Without checking, I know the same goes for right wing blogs. (Even my little blog has a negative name. I just thought of this yesterday. Funny isn’t it? I hadn’t been aware of it, although I’ve been blogging for a year and a half and thinking and writing about all sorts of things.)

Isn’t it sad that so much talent and energy, worldwide, is being poured into fanning flames of anger and hatred? Everyone knows where he or she stands and refuses to budge or see things a little differently. Anger is very easy to write, because it comes from the heart; it writes itself. But it doesn't make you feel very good.

Maybe we should all take the time to try and write in a way that would be easier for people who disagree with us to stomach. Then maybe they will be more likely to listen.

Easier said than done, I know.

[By the way, thank you Jonathan, for sort of nominating me for the Koufax thing]

All this doesn't mean you shouldn't vote for me for Most Egregious Omission. At the moment I'm feeling most egregious. Voting continues till 14th (that's Sunday). Amazingly, I'm currently number one in my category, and I really really want to stay that way ;-)

Later: Okay, I know what blog competitions are good for - for learning about wonderful blogs you weren't previously aware of. This post about John Lennon, on Body and Soul, is pure magic.

posted by Imshin 08:51

Demise of the Guy Upstairs. A short story.
posted by Imshin 19:01

Shabbat Shalom
Quote of the week:

…to be "in favor of Israel" is the most intelligent, rational, prudent, and honest way to be in favor of Palestine.

Pilar Rahola, former member of Parliament of the Spanish Republican Left.

Reached via the Shaister, who is always a very interesting read.

posted by Imshin 17:11

It’s not anti-Semitism, it’s anti-Zionism!
According to Haaretz, quoting Israel radio, a French Interior Ministry sponsored task committee has submitted a report that deals with anti-Semitism.

According to the report, wearing a skullcap in the street or on public transportation could be dangerous, and that the expression ‘dirty Jew’ has become common in school yards. Many Jewish pupils and teachers have left the public education system for Jewish and Catholic private schools because of the racial problems they encountered.

In several schools it is impossible to teach about the Holocaust, because pupils dispute taught facts about the genocide of Jews by the Nazis, the report stated.

The emphasis is mine.

Oh, and the great majority of Germans are fed up of Germany still being held responsible for the Holocaust. It is irritating, isn’t it?
posted by Imshin 09:58

Solitude
Today the girls in the office next to me decided that they didn’t like the energy in their office (or something or other) and moved to a vacant room in the next enclave.

I suddenly found myself all alone.

In the ensuing moments of hysteria I decided I would move too. The guys in the office next to where I would be moving to offered their help. “But not now.” They were very busy. Afterwards. Sometime or other.

I didn’t really like that other office anyway. Maybe I was better off staying where I was.

Now I had the opportunity to look deeply into the meaning of impermanence and taking refuge in myself. (Sigh)

I moved some of the clutter from my office into the now empty room next door, and looked round happily at the result. I suddenly realized that I now had full control over the air-conditioning, which the two offices shared. I turned on the radio just that little bit louder than I would have before. A feeling of contentment descended.

My peace was only disturbed after lunch, when Bish called from his office to tell me that they’d just heard a tremendous blast from one of the nearby roads and that now they could hear the ambulances. You can imagine the familiar sinking feeling. It took a while before it became clear that it wasn’t a terrorist attack but part of an ongoing war among criminals. Not that this knowledge made me feel much better. Three people were killed and about thirty injured.

I think I should explain: Israel Police is so busy fighting Palestinian terrorism that not enough manpower or funding is left over for the local bad guys, who are having a wonderful time shooting, blowing up and stabbing their rivals in crime, or at least trying to. They missed today’s target, kingpin Zeev Rozenshtein, while killing three innocents. I reckon Rozenshtein is indestructible. There have been quite a few attempts on his life over the years. Maybe he’s still alive because he’s been more successful in liquidating his enemies than they have. His enemies crossed a line today though.

Watching the pictures on TV, I realize how near this attack was to Bish’s office. He says he often goes past the money-changing place in which it took place.

posted by Imshin 19:19

Happy Birthday, Lynn!
She claims to be half a century young, but I’ve met her, and I think she’s exaggerating her age to get compliments.

Is it rude for me to mention her age, even if she did make it public herself?

posted by Imshin 19:14

What’s all this about the Brits taking nuclear weapons to the Falklands in 1982? They weren’t seriously considering nuking Argentina over a little island no one had ever heard of, on the other side of the world, with a few farmers and some sheep, were they? (And if they weren’t, what did they need the weapons there for?)

Makes you wonder about the wholesale criticism they’re dishing out to the Israeli government these days, for doing its best to prevent kids riding on buses to school from being blown up.

Update: The loyal Expat stands up for the old homeland (what can I say, he's a better person than me): "Some of the ships sent to the Falklands came directly from Nato deployments and other stations without returning to the UK. Some of them would have carried nuclear tipped depth charges for use against Soviet subs in the event of a general war.

They would have been useless in the Falklands war. The fuss seems to have been over container damage when they were transferred back to other ships. The Sheffield would not have been left to sink if there had been nukes on board."
posted by Imshin 23:05

Don’t feel guilty, Gail. I was witness to the difficulties my parents went through in their forties when they took the plunge and left everything, for an unknown future in a strange land with a strange language, schlepping three kids with them. I don’t think everyone is up to it. I doubt if I could have done it.

As I near the age they were when they came here, I feel great admiration for them. It must have taken tremendous courage. I always used to think that, despite the trials of their absorption, it was easier for them than for those who came from Arab countries or Communist countries, usually with nothing. But my folks had a problem those other Olim* didn't have - the constant temptation of somewhere more materially comfortable to go back to.

_____________________________________
*Jews who go to live in the Land of Israel are known as Olim = those who go up, ascend. Until a few years ago, Jews who left Israel were refered to as Yordim = those who go down, but this has been dropped because it was perceived as offensive.

posted by Imshin 21:20

Well, Richard Gere is back in Israel. This time he’s not leaving till there’s peace. I hope. Can’t beat those smiling eyes. Well, Bish can. He also has smiling eyes.

I see he was in Yaffo, as well (Richard Gere, not Bish). I must have just missed him.

Update: Israellycool has the ultimate Gere/Ashrawi poll. I didn't see the famous hug on TV, but I hear she didn't want to let him go.

posted by Imshin 11:40

Bish must think I’m lonely. He sent me an online friend called Alan to keep me company. Thing is, I don’t think we’re really communicating on the same wavelength. Here’s me trying to build up a deep, meaningful conversation about blogging, and he’s going on and on about young people and technology (yawn).
posted by Imshin 11:31

Blogging as a mad dash away from Buddhism or (more accurately) Why haven’t you voted for me yet???
Those Wizbang Weblog Awards are turning out to be very beneficial. I’m learning all sorts of interesting things. For instance, Allison took pity on me for my ignorance with regard to Ecosystem and filled me in. I have a faint memory of realizing such a thing existed a while back, and going over to take a peek, but was far too lazy to try to work it out. Then I forgot all about it. Of course, I could portray this as just another expression of my deep anti-establishmentarian feelings. I refuse to dance to the flute of Blogosphere authoritarianism! Underdogs (or puppies) of the Blogosphere unite! Who am I kidding? No fervent ideology or even fuzzy (pathetic middle-aged) adolescent-style rebelliousness, can honorably explain away my still not being able to understand what the Carnival of Vanities is.

Anyway, proud anti-establishmentarian, foolhardy rebel, or plain nitwit, I’m still extremely competitive. And I have deduced, with the help of my sitemeter and what little commonsense I possess, that most of the visitors to Not a Fish since I was nominated for Most Egregious Omission (I’ve worked out what that means, please stop e-mailing me with explanations) haven’t bothered to click through, scroll down, and actually VOTE FOR ME! Shame on you all. I will however forgive you, if you trot over there right now and do your blogic duty.

I know I’m contradicting myself, but as I always say, life is far more complex than we would like to believe ;-)

By the way, if you’d like to call it a vote for Israel, that’s fine by me. Anything that works for you.

posted by Imshin 11:02

Today I was in Yaffo (Jaffa) again. It was sunny, the sky was clear and blue, besides spots of those clouds that look like cotton wool balls that have been pulled to pieces by your cat and strewn all over the Persian carpet you inherited from your late grandmother's aunt (of blessed memory). And the sea, oh, the sea. It was that wonderful deep turquoise that makes your heart miss a beat when you first get a glimpse of it.

I had to tear myself away so as not to be late for the meeting I was headed for.

I might be working in Yaffo next year. I can't wait. Just think: the ancient port with the fishermen spread along the long, rocky pier ending at the Rock of Andromeda, the fishing boats, resting after a long night out at sea, the winding alleyways leading up from the port to the old city, the flea market with its strange array of doodahs to be sold to the most adamant haggler, Margaret Tayar's couscous, Bino Gabso's shakshooka... I'll be so busy trying to sneak off, I don't know when I'll get any work done.

Everyone else is depressed about the move, because we'll be leaving an up-market shopping area. Go figure.

At one time, Yaffo began to be a magnet for Bohemian-Arty-Yuppie types. There are gorgeous, old houses, with high arched ceilings, big stained windows, and brightly patterned ceramic floors. I could never live there though, I'm far too aware of the seedy side: the poverty; the protection rackets; the flourishing market for hard drugs. No, I'll stick to unromantic North Tel Aviv, thank you very much (as if we could afford anything decent in Yaffo).

But I love the idea of working there, of drinking in all that beauty on a daily basis.

posted by Imshin 19:17

Oh no!
The Wizbang Blog Awards have caught up with me, after all. Mary nominated me for Most Egregious Omission (whatever that means). Please go vote for me so I won't die of shame :-b
posted by Imshin 18:48

Check out Ocean Guy's new design. Very Ocean-y.
posted by Imshin 20:22

Well, we’ve got some of our guys on the Best Blog Award thing, so I’d like to endorse Allison (An Unsealed Room) for Best New Blog, Meryl Yourish for Best Female Authored Blog and Best Playful Primates Ecosystem Level Blog (?!), Silent Running for Best Group Blog (or Silflay Hraka, it’s just that I’m loyal to my BlogDad,“Tom Paine”), Roger L. Simon or Kesher Talk for Best Large Mammals Ecosystem Level Blog (??!) and last, but certainly not least, Israellycool for Best Crawly Amphibians Ecosystem Level Blog (???!). Okay, there’s more, but I’m getting a bit bored with all these links. You can go and see all the weird categories for yourself, and vote, here.

I'm now so relieved I didn't get nominated after all. I would probably be in hysterics about how many votes I got. Not worth the palpitations.
posted by Imshin 19:28

Rick Richman links to some stuff about the Geneva thing. Seeing as I deleted my most recent rant about Dr. Yossi Beilin, maybe you’d like to read some less angry words on the subject.
posted by Imshin 19:28

Meryl meets some Israeli teenagers. A wonderful post.
posted by Imshin 18:32

The lure of the fleshpot

In the wilderness, the whole Israelite community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, “If only we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the fleshpots, when we ate our fill of bread! For you have brought us out into this wilderness to starve this whole congregation to death.”

Exodus 16, 2 – 3. Tanakh, The Holy Scriptures, the new translation according to the traditional Hebrew text.

Maybe the Hebrews didn't have it so bad in Egypt, after all? I've read interpretations that suggest that the bondage the Hebrews were subjected to was not necessarily a physical enslavement, but a spiritual one, in the form of a life of spiritual desolation and poverty. I know this is not what the Bible says, but it's an interesting point of view: Moses, a spiritual teacher, takes his followers out of a land of plenty for a life of physical hardship that is at the same time incredibly spiritually uplifting and rewarding. Can you imagine what a powerful spiritual experience receiving the Torah at Mount Sinai must have been?

Egypt was the great international power of that era, not just from a military aspect but also from a cultural one, not unlike the United States today. The standard of living must have been so very much higher than anywhere else, even for those with no rights, even for slaves. Living anywhere else must have seemed unbearable. The same could probably be said about Ancient Rome, another great world power a couple of thousand years ago. People who love to hate the United States enjoy bringing the example of Ancient Rome as proof of the impermanent nature of all great world powers. Of course, they always neglect to mention that the Roman Empire was around for quite a while. Rome wasn't built in a day, as they say, but it didn't fall in a day, either.

When I was growing up I had five good friends. We were a close knit little group, the envy of those not included. We came complete with a cute, unusual name we invented for ourselves, made up of our initials. As such little teenage groups are wont, we had our little rituals. One of them was making unusual and creative presents for each other’s birthdays.

We were closest in middle school. The first major change came when one of us moved to another town. In high school, I gradually started drifting away as well, although I remained in the same school as the rest of them. I was never very social, as I've told you before.

One day I woke up to discover that my five friends and I were all grown up.

And I was the only one living in Israel.

It wasn't that my friends didn't love Israel, and didn't see it as home. It was just that life had drawn them away for various reasons. It's not as if I was in regular contact with them either. You know, a phone call here, a little get-together there.

What really bothered me was the thought that out of six intelligent, creative girls, Israel’s finest (even if I say so myself), only one had at no point attempted to live anywhere else. And it wasn’t because any of them had serious ideological or financial difficulties living in Israel. So what was wrong?

Bish said I was taking it the wrong way. Israel being such a small country, people needed to enrich their professional and personal experiences elsewhere. They needed to be in contact with like-minded professional colleagues and to find markets for what they had to offer, not an easy task in a country the size of Israel. My friends' drifting off was a natural occurrence, he said, akin to people moving from state to state and from city to city in the States. And besides, weren't my friends, all of them nice, educated and moderately left-leaning Zionist women, the best ambassadors Israel could have abroad?

Since then, three of them have wandered back*. During the very years that a great exodus of Israelis was meant to have been occurring, according to recent newspaper articles, three of my five friends packed up their families and belongings and came home. They did this without any big dramas or fanfares. They just came.

A few of the articles and blog posts that were floating round the Net, with regard to the numbers of Israelis living outside Israel were decidedly smug, as if to say: There you are! Proof that the Zionist experience is a failure (even if they didn’t actually spell it out). And I say: Oh, yeah? People like to have neat little explanations for things, preferably explanations that fit in nicely with their belief systems. But in actual fact there was always a large percentage of Israelis living abroad.

So 750,000 Israelis are not living in Israel. That’s their business, not mine. This isn’t the Soviet Union, you know. People are free to leave. Some people are not suited to the kind of life Israel has to offer. For most people, it’s no fleshpot, at least not by Northern American standards. But six million of us are right here, just trying to do our best, like everyone else.

_________________________________
* To be fair, I must point out that one of my friends only left for a relatively short period, and then commuted to and fro for a few more months.

posted by Imshin 18:09

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