My interest in current affairs fluctuates with my feeling of existential danger. It is something like the heightened awareness and alert of the antelope when it senses the lioness waiting, ready to pounce, in the bushes. Once the lioness has pounced on some other hapless beast, or has moved away to some other hunting ground, the antelope also becomes less wary.

Thus, in the latter years of Oslo, I felt secure enough to spend much of my time sitting cross-legged on the floor with my eyes closed, watching my breath, barely aware of what was going on around me on a national and international level. This period of tranquility came to an abrupt and violent end in September 2000.

When I began this blog, a year ago at the end of this month, I was one very insecure antelope, finding myself surrounded by a whole pack of hungry lionesses. At that time I was hungrily devouring any news item I could find that could possibly alleviate some of my fears, about Israel's instability and lack of international support. That's how I came across blogs, especially pro-Israeli blogs, and started one of my own.

Thanks mainly to the unceasing efforts of the Israeli security forces, the situation is much better now. Terrorist attacks are monthly, not daily, occurrences (at least in most of pre-1967 Israel, where I spend my life). I have little faith that anything will come of the Road Map, but it does give a sort of hopeful feeling, even if I do suspect this is false (Bish is very optimistic, for what it's worth, but he always is). As a result, I have drifted away from the news stations on the radio and TV, my interest in which was rather obssessive and hardly healthy, and back to music, movies, books. I feel safe enough to do so, and that is surely a good thing. I'm not in the lotus position yet, but that could happen. I ask myself where I should be taking Not a Fish now, and I have no answer.

So I'll just keep on chattering.