Aaaaaaaaaaaah!
Who switched all the mirrors with life size photos of a bimbo with red tinted blow-dried hair?

But seriously...
I now remember why I've avoided hairdressing salons all these years. You can easily die of boredom, for one thing. I wonder how often they come back to find that the woman with her head in the sink, waiting for her blonde dye to take, has to be carted out?

I spent half an hour with my head thus, staring at Fashion TV. This would have been bearable if I had had my glasses on. As it was I could just make out if the creature on the screen was male or female and the color of the garment it was wearing. I could more or less see which body parts were revealed, but not well enough to enjoy the experience.

The next hour I spent staring at a blurred version of the red tint bimbo, while her hair was being cut (for about three seconds, by the boss. What's wrong with the kid who cut Eldest's hair? I can hear the cash machine clinging in my head.) and blow-dried (for ages by the kid). All this time I'm trying to work out if I've ruined my very expensive new glasses by sitting on them.

Now all this surely can't interest anyone, but I did promise an answer to a reader about some pretty heavy questions about religion and "The Situation". And now I have to ask myself - Is the bimbo up to it? Or is she just a mass of flowing auburn locks (Good grief, Imshin, what are you talking about? It's not that spectacular. And it's actually not all that red, either. And what's with the sexist remark?).

Well, this is all something for me to look into over the Shabbat, which I will spend mourning years of carefree hippi-ness, washed down the drain of the hairdresser's sink, along with the leftovers of the red tint mixture.

Shabbat Shalom!